Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
