I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
