you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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