8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
