Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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