69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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