I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
