After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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