No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
