drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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