I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
