Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
