Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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