so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
