when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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