apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
