I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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