I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just pee around me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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