3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
