I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
