No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
