I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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