Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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