I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
