He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
