I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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