Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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