its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
