ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Quick, to the slutcave!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You pole danced in your parka.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
