I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
