i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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