Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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