So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
