Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
