Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
