he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
