Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
