just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
