Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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