Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
