She announced her abortion via fbk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
