I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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