Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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