it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
