32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
