The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
