I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
