i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
