I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
