Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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